School News

2014 Pioneer Golf Invitational a Success

“Gratitude. Say thank you to someone for something. Extra blissful rounds added to your life for every expression of appreciation and thankfulness.”
… Whacky PI format requirement for the 18th hole

Dear Seventeenth Annual Pioneer Invitational Players & Sponsors,

Thank you for the playfulness that you all brought to our walk in the park.
We loved the happy spirit of fellowship that flowed throughout the day.

Thank you for the money.
Thanks to the players for your entry fees.
Thanks to the sponsors who gave money so that others could play: Wayne & Ann Moore, Kim Larsen, Noah & Vidya Schechtman, Mike Eisner, Carl Stone.
Together we raised $2228 net for the blessed children of our dear Maharishi School.

Thanks for all the great prizes contributed by community businesses and MSAE supporters. It may be our best prize list yet. (See list below.)

Thanks for the skill and enthusiasm of the development office dynamic team of Celeste Siemsen, Joy Smith and Annalisa Miller in partnering with us to organize it all.

Thanks for the excellent scores and competitive balance. In our previous sixteen PI’s, we have averaged around eleven strokes difference between the low gross score and the high gross score. The difference this year was only five strokes. With just a few rubs of the green going differently, this tournament could have been won by any of the ten teams.

Thanks to our ace witness and fourth hole designated putter Loreena Roesler for boldly bailing out several teams by magically cleaning up their short putts.

Thanks to John Hagelin and physicists everywhere for our latest perversion of golf: a foot long piece of Stroke Saving Super String. And for our newest PI slogan from the Stakland boys, “Alright! We’re stringing for the wheel now, baby!”

Thanks for the great weather. I think I saw a heaping bowl of whirled peas floating in that big cumulus cloud over the seventh green. Or maybe I was seeing an eagle putt sitting in the bottom of a cup. Either way, it was nice weather for projecting fantasies and playing golf.

Thanks to Dr. Gym Carry. I think that we’re all just a little happier and more self expressed since he addressed MUM’s graduation. I spoke with him several times during our tournament while we hid in the trees by the fourth hole watching all of you try to win the $10,000 hole in one. He’s doing research on his next film about PTSD amongst golfers. He said

that he’s never seen golfers who have such an erudite handle on their baggage, “It’s amazing. They all look like they’ve been meditating at least forty-five to forty-eight years.”

Okay, that’s enough of that sappy gratitude stuff. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty of who won.

Humiliation Inspires Goldstein Team to Play Big, Need Fewer Strokes in Underdog Win

As you may recall, your fearless handicappers, Dell and I, felt that all the teams were pretty equal except a couple of teams that we allotted some strokes. Well, we were mostly right. But beware the wrath of a golfer scorned with too many strokes. The Goldstein team took umbrage at our assessment and used that to fuel a birdie and wheel bonanza. Congrats to them and to everyone for some great shots and scores.

Rank / Net / Gross / Team / Captain / Player / Player / Player

  • 1 / 58 / 64 / Bill Goldstein / Alan Unger / Fred Gratzon / Jake Gratzon
  • 2 / 61.5 / 61.5 / John Tower / Ken Ross / Mark Ratner / Carl Stone
  • 3 / 62.5 / 62.5 / Don Chell / Barry Ross / John Viviano
  • 4 / 62.5 / 62.5 / Jeff Cohen / Larry Briskin / Mike Tinker / Peter Roesler
  • 5 / 62.5 / 65.5 / Ron Stakland / Bob Hougher / Jordan Stakland / Ryan Stakland
  • 6 / 64 / 64 / Tom Scorzelli / Finlay Woolley / Keith Wegman / Jim Garret
  • 7 / 65 / 65 / Bob Thomas / Hal Masover / Art Yuenger / Peter Ecob
  • 8 / 65 / 65 / Steve Olmstead / Cliff Rose / Bob Seal / Al Shook
  • 9 / 66 / 66 / Steve Yellin / Harry Bright / Mike Fitzgerald / Brad Mylett
  • 10 / 65.5 / 65.5 / Mickey DeAngelis / Rig Gelfand / Richard Beall / Peter Fenton

Note: Ties broken by matching cards, that is, comparing scores on the last holes.

Special Contests

  • Saturday Warm Up Clinic Best Shot Tourney First Place -- Hal Masover & Dell Hipp -- 25 (2 under par on Royal Dandelion’s nine par three holes)
  • Most Wheels -- Bob Thomas, Hal Masover, Art Yuenger, Peter Ecob -- 10 wheels
  • Longest Drive # 7 Art Yuenger 178 yards (from the gold tee)
  • Closest to Pin # 8 Don Chell 8 feet
  • Longest Hole Out # 10 Steve Olmstead 23 feet
  • Closest to Pin in Two # 11 Alan Unger 11 feet
  • Longest Drive # 12 Peter Fenton 192 yards (from the gold tee)
  • Closest to Pin in Three # 17 Tom Scorzelli 18 inches

Prize List

  • Free nine hole round of golf with the Masterful Mayor of Fairfield Ed Malloy at Fairfield Country Club
  • Free nine hole round of golf with the Beatific Beacon of Maharishi School Richard Beall at Walton Club
  • Free nine hole round of golf with the Enlightened Eclectic of Enthusiasm Clyde Cleveland at Fairfield Country Club
  • Free nine hole round of golf with the Gifted Gentleman of Golf Marshall Gavre at Walton Club
  • Golden Dome Market $25 certificate
  • Hy-Vee $25 certificate
  • Cookbook: Heavenly Cooking With Ayurveda by Frank Lotz
  • MUM Book Store $20 certificate
  • DVD of the Beatles concert: Change Begins Within benefit for DLF
  • Yummy's $10 certificate
  • New Callaway golf bag
  • Green Gourmet $25 certificate
  • Office golf putting kit
  • Cafe Dodici $25 certificate
  • Digital scorekeeper calculator
  • Ila's Restaurant $25 certificate
  • Orpheum pass books – three passes each
  • SGA Golf Range $65 punch card – 15 buckets
  • Quiet Mind Golf lesson with Steve Yellin – half hour
  • Golf lesson with Ed Hipp – 1 hour
  • Acting Lesson with Steve White – 1 hour
  • Drinking mug, golf motif
  • Pro V1 golf balls – one dozen
  • Premium golf balls, your choice of brand – one dozen
  • Quiet Mind Golf DVD by Steve Yellin
  • Cobra Amp Cell hybrid adjustable
  • Cleveland Classic driver 10.5
  • Ping G5 driver 10.5
  • Callaway Big Bertha driver 9
  • Cobra Zero Limits driver adjustable
  • Callaway Big Bertha driver 12
  • Callaway Big Bertha 3 wood
  • Callaway Warbird 3 wood
  • Taylor Made R11 3 wood adjustable
  • Black Steel 7 wood
  • Titleist lob wedge 62
  • Cleveland Mashie hybrid 26

See ya next year,

Ed and Dell

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